External and Internal Pressures to Succeed
- 23 hours ago
- 2 min read
"Oh Yeah? Prove it!"
I’m not certain why I started humming “I Feel Pretty” from West Side Story while out walking, but I must have felt quite pretty. I hummed loudly enough that my fiance, Ellie, overheard me, offering this tidbit: “Did you know Stephen Sondheim only wrote the lyrics to that song to prove he could rhyme?”
Among the uncountable things I love about Ellie, her propensity for fun facts is high up there. We chatted briefly about this interesting tidbit, then went on with our day
A little later, she elaborated on her initial fun fact: “Did you know that Sondheim hated the song ‘I Feel Pretty?’ I suppose trying to prove something to someone else can take the joy out of the craft.”
I paused. There are often moments when Ellie’s fun facts venture into the philosophical, and this one was a doozy. Immediately, my mind went to every musical moment in my life where my level of joy didn’t meet my expectations. One by one, the memories began to add up with one common denominator: I had been trying to prove something.
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Interestingly, in my internal investigation, I found that it’s not just trying to prove something to someone else that takes away the joy; trying to prove something to yourself does the same thing. In many ways, joy is like needing to use the bathroom. It can arise naturally at any point in time with no warning, but if you try to force it, nothing is going to happen. As unfortunate a comparison as it is, the sentiment is universally understood and applicable. We have to allow our music to exist for the sake of itself and joy to arise on its own. The second we try to force our music or to squeeze out a moment of happiness, neither the musicality nor the joy will hesitate to hit the road.
In essence, we need to understand the conditions that make music-making possible, as well as those that allow us to experience joy in our playing. Be skeptical not only of others’ expectations for you, but of your own expectations for yourself. When you sense tension arise in your work, ask yourself if you’re just trying to prove that you can rhyme. Pause, and let nature call you to your next endeavor.
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